Ayumi Hamasaki's TeamAyu Diary Oct. 31 - Nov. 7, 2009

Hello all my friends and comrades and partners and co-workers and buddies and dudes. XD

This installment has ayu seeing Michael Jackson's movie, celebrating a doggy birthday, shooting a new PV, recording new songs, and rethinking her workaholism.

As usual keep in mind that my Japanese isn't that good (but it does seem to be getting better so that's nice), and please don't repost the translations - link here instead!

On to the translations!! :)


Michael Jackson
29 October 2009 2:39 AM

I'm really fidgety waiting to go see his movie.
This is Chon-san. Good evening.
Okie dokie, well, it's been said plenty of times, but this is the closest thing to my own original words, because they sound good to me, and I don't want to tell a lie, I don't want to only say pretty things.
And, above all, I want to hear "thank you" more than "I'm sorry," and I want to say it more too.
Having turned 31 recently, I feel I've been reborn, so I'm thinking like that alot lately.
I must say, although I'm probably jumping to things, or maybe I'm not really making a big jump at all (whichever), I've been doing work on the contents for a certain DVD, and even though I knew a little while ago, the moment I know more, the whole world will, but I persuaded myself that "I can't say anything right now" but in the end, I can't wait to write this tomorrow, even though I'm feeling a bit hazy at the moment. So I'm writing.
I record things in this diary for my own sake.
Well, I can write this with no fear of misunderstanding. I really, from the bottom of my heart, am so proud of the cast and my staff, all those strong and great people, who create my shows.
They're the strongest and greatest entertainment group, my life is the shows they help create.
And yet, the strongest piece, the one I hold in the highest, is that I can't compare my shows to anyone else's whenever I think of doing it.
To begin with, comparing myself with someone else is such nonsense, we're all distinct human beings, so you can't compare.
The "something" that I have, someone else will never have it, and I will never have the "something" that someone else has.
This is something that everyone can say about themselves, not just me.
Based on what I've said (or despite it... whatever), the work on this DVD is strange and amusing.
With this show, there's the superior and the junior staff always walking together, the staff we met for the first time, and above all, the usual guests who all together, at any moment, will begin clapping and cheering, honestly enjoying themselves, and that's what allows the show to come into existence.
A staggering amount of human power is able to be gathered, and it's a miraculous moment.
If I leave it as a piece of work, maybe, if I think of it as a piece of work, I think there are so many other forms it could have taken.
Jeez, Chon-san is just rambling to herself now.
All of us here are looking towards the end of the year, working very hard day after day, thinking like entertainers, all so we can welcome the lovely new year together with everyone, and we'll be back home to Yoyogi soon so do look forward to it!!!!!!!
And this year too, I'll keep working to fill up as many seats as possible all in one place!!!!!!!!!

Sleep warmly, everyone! <3

I'm singing
30 October 2009 1:10 PM

Getting it done, slowly but surely.
Getting settled in the vocal booth.
Yesterday I was doing really great, but part of the way through, started to cry, overcome with emotion.
Afterwards, I just kept on singing, sweating like crazy, but concentrating very hard, and when recording was done, my entire head was hurting, and to make matters worse, I felt really cold, so I hurried home as quickly as I could.
If I catch a cold now, don't you laugh~~~!!
Anyway, I took some cell phone photos yesterday but I didn't post them here.
So I'm gonna do that right now.
Yesterday's Fashion Check~☆

The fluffy knit cardigan is from Chane-ko-san.*
It has silver threading mixed into it. <3
The studded vest is from NINE.
The pants aren't in the photo, but they're sarouelles** from Alexander McQueen.
The T-Shirt and studded beret are from Tocopaci.
The sunglasses are my hot Ray-Bans, as usual~.
But my number one favorite thing I was wearing that day was the studded beret. ↓

I have to record again today, so I need to get myself coordinated in order to be able to put my feelings in song.☆
Holy crap, October is already over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh well, time's gonna keep on passing by, isn't it?
Even this moment right here will pass.
Seeya later, time---------!
And I finally got on board the train and I'm shaking along with its rhythm.

*I guess she means Chanel? XD
**If you're like me and had to look this up, they're like middle-eastern style pants that are baggy, but more around the hips & thighs, then they're more form-fitting around the lower legs (to different degrees). They're fashionable right now apparently, so I probably look like an idiot having to look it up, but  I don't keep up with fashion. Like, at all. So yeah. :P

It was Halloween
1 November 2009 5:50 PM

...wasn't it~?
Yesterday, I was chased by a large crowd of costumed people, and yes they were scary.
But I ran and ran as hard as I could and I got away! LOL
Until I reached a maximum distance from them, I ran. I felt like someone who'd done a very bad thing.
So, we just barely slid into the very last showing.

I finally saw it.

I can't write my thoughts.
Because I'm unable to put them into words.
But I will say that when the movie was over, the theater did not brighten.
Because right then I was taken aback when I realized that while I was seeing this "movie," I completely forgot reality. I was completely deluded into thinking I was "there."
It's like I slipped away from my seat, I was leaning forward the whole time.
I really couldn't watch it with an objective eye.
Oh, and I thought I should apologize, I started crying within the first 30 seconds, and then I just wept the whole time and my nose was running and it didn't stop, just tears and tears and more tears, and the people next to me HAD to be annoyed by my "waaah waaah, sniffle sniffle" sounds.
Sorry about that...
Afterwards, the three of us went to go eat some Thai food.
I casually put my stuff on the table, and it ended up being interesting to look at so I took a photo.
Chon-san's bag (BALMAIN) & leather jacket (BALMAIN) & hat (Blumarine) feat. The Disposable Chopsticks.

Isn't the hat cute?
Here's how it looks when I wear it.

(Oh yeah, I dyed my hair black. It's nice, I like it.)
So, right as I finish eating just the right amount of food, the phone rings.
As soon as I answer, I hear "Ayuuu~! Can I come yet???"
By the way, I made no promise to meet up with him. lol
This is who was on the other line☟

It was Mr. Black Shirt. lol
Next to him is a really close friend~♪
And seriously, a succession of Michael Jackson songs were playing in the shop the whole time.
Everyone danced too much, we got all sweaty.
We smiled excessively.
It was the best night ever.
I still can't say goodbye, so.... Thank you, Michael.

4 November 2009 06:09 AM

It's been a few days, huh~?
I've just been so caught up recording some very good songs~☆
I want everyone to hear them really soooon---------------!!!
The approach for the jacket photos is a little bit different than anything I've done so far... when you combine them with the song itself, the photos are really great, so look forward to them♪
Sooo anywaaay... for my twins' third birthday celebration, my other little babies mustered up some congratulations <3
Here's the cake <3 It's for the dogs <3

It has "Pino <3 Papico" written on it-!! Fun stuff.
And then there was a fight over the cake. lol
I guess that's what happens when you have 7 animals. They're gonna scramble for things. lol
With full tummies, sleeping happily☟

I love them so much, they're growing up too fast for me!<3
I'll join hands with everyone again tomorrow.

6 November 2009 05:18 AM

with an infinite loop going in my head, I wasn't very good at putting together words to describe something that happened, but on Subalog., Suu-san wrote about it accurately.
The thing about "behaving."
I thought Suu-san was seriously awesome! lol
I didn't see anything, but I had my palm read and for once I feel like someone guessed something right! lol
I thought it was something like, "What? Suu-san and I are gonna get in a fight?" I wonder why.
Well then!! It's a rather abrupt subject change, but I thought I'd like to show you the lyrics for one chorus in the new song.
Tomorrow (sorry, actually 'today' my time), I'm shooting this song's PV.
Every single one of you can imagine what on earth the song's melody might be... look forward to it.

"You were..."
surechigau koibito tachi ga kata yoseai aruiteku
(The lovers pass by each other and bump shoulders as they walk)
tsumetasa ga mi ni shimiru no wa kimi ga inai kara
(The cold is so piercing because you're not here)
kisetsu sae wasureru kurai hoka ni nani mo iranai kurai
(If it gets to the point that the season can be forgotten, then that's the point where there's nothing left)
sou muchuu de kagayaita no wa koi wo shiteita kara
(That which shined so bright in my dreams was the act of loving you, so)
kimi ga saigo no hito da to omotta
(I thought you were the last person)
kimi to saigo no koi wo shitakatta
(I wanted my last love to be with you)
konna hiroi yozora no shita hitori
(Alone under such a vast night sky)
ittai nani wo omoebaii no...
(What in the world am I supposed to think...?)

Written by ayumi hamasaki

This year
7 November 2009 5:30 AM

around the time I rang in my 31st birthday...
I think a change struck me, I was going to change, I wanted to change...
I mean this in a positive way.
The thing I noticed recently is that I actually have changed.
This, again, I mean in a positive way.
Thus far, I've been completely addicted to work.
But this was because I wanted to be. It made me happy.
But I think it was really bad for my private time.
So, now, of course work is as important to me as ever, it's something I have more passion for than anything else, I could absolutely never detach from my job as an entertainer.
But at the same time, things in my private life are becoming important to me as well.
I think that way of thinking is gaining ground in me.
I've started to wish for peace in my heart. Whether just a few or alot of smiling faces, whether just a little bit or alot of kindness, I want to share it with everyone.
If someone thinks that the other people in their lives are more important than they are, they become happier for it. If you can meet someone like that, it's really a miracle.
Even when you trip and fall down, you should get up and keep taking steps forward.
Right now, I feel I have such courage and strength.
That's right! <3
Well then, today I want to post the chorus lyrics for one more new song. 

yume no tochuu de mezameta  matsuge ga nureteita
(I woke up in the middle of a dream, and my eyelashes were wet)
oboeteta kotoba wa "onegai ikanai de"
(I remembered the words, "please don't go")
kesshite kawaranai no wa tsunotte yuku kono omoi
(What I can't erase or change is this feeling getting worse)
itsumo yuruganai no wa uyamai shitau kimochi
(What I can never shake is the feeling of yearning for your adoration)
kyou no yuuyake sora wa anata no you ni yasashikute
(Today's sunset sky is as gentle as you)
konda wa yume ja nai to sakebimashita "ikanai de"
(That time, it wasn't a dream, that cry of "don't go.")

Written by ayumi hamsaki

7 November 2009 6:07 AM

Today's PV shoot went off without a hitch~!!
But... from my hair & face all the way down my body, I had real diamonds all over me, sparkly sparkly... but diamonds are stones after all, so it felt more like rough-rough than sparkly-sparkly. lol
So anyway, that's how that was~. Look forward to it!☆